Day 32 - blah blah blah :)

It's been a long day at work today. My new meds are taking a toll on me, I've had a severe headache for the last three evenings in a row. The one to help me focus is totally not helping me focus. Lol, you should feel sorry for my coworkers! 

Today I had to re-fold all of the blankets/towels/baby shirts/etc in the blanket warmer. And I had to restock my cart. I'm not shitting you, I seriously lined up every freakin 3ml syringe & alternated the ends so that they made nice rows. Those were the med syringes... We are not even going to talk about the feeding syringes! ;) everything is nice & neat...I swear to all things holy....if it is not nice & neat on Monday heads are gonna roll! Lol, probably only my head, but who's counting?

For reals, I never realized how bad my focus & NICU-OCD was until I've been on meds that aren't working! Wow! 

So, back to my headache, I gotta just hit the sack, sorry that I don't have anything funny to write about. It's just one of those days. Happy Saturday & day 32!

Day 31 - sucks being a procrastinating kind of person

So, this was supposed to be my third day off in a row... Awesome, I know. ;)

Of course I had put off all the things I needed to do until today. I mean, seriously, Wed I had a dr appt, took Maddie to swim lessons & went grocery shopping! And of course a nap too! Yesterday I had the dhhs appt , picked up a great bookcase from one of my awesome pedi's, and napped. So of course I thought I would do my "to do" list today, cuz that's how I roll.

So what happens? My super cool supervisor calls to see if I can work. How can I say no? I mean, she is a super cool boss, and my sounding board, (she deserves an award for that) and I owe her. So off I go to work, instead of doing any of the gazillion things I was supposed to today. Damn! And I work tomorrow so none of that will get done then either. Oh well, I guess the next try is Sunday! 

Med-wise I did ok, except my add meds that I switched to don't seem to be quite working yet. I had about 4 different things piled up around me today & was having a hard time finishing anything, including a thought, lol! I guess I'll give them some time. 

Tb-wise I am pretty darn sure I haven't converted to active today, so yippee! That's always a good thing. 

Since I'm working in the am I should get to bed. Until tomorrow....

Day 30 at the Dept of Health

Oh my my my. 

Have I said I'm a hot mess? Well just in case, I'm a total hot mess! :O

My nurse was sweet grandma for most of the visit. I had to take Maddie because I am so ADD that I can't remember that I was gonna drop her at moms. Anyway, I'll get back to that. 

First thing is being weighed. Yuck, is there a woman out there that enjoys that? Yea, I thought not. 

Well I'm 10 lbs down in a month. She was concerned to say the least. (Me, I'm jumping up & down! Score!) I pointed out that I am on Adderall & once I started the INH the appetite suppression got worse (not a negative thing IMO), I usually eat one meal a day, and snack a couple of times. And drink my liquid crack of course... The ode is still coming!! ;)

Well then I told her about my dr switching my meds because of the neuropathy & because of the fatigue. She jumped all over the fatigue. She did say that she would be telling me to do the exact same with the vitamins, so yay for consistent care!! But she is concerned with the symptoms. So she goes thru the checklist & all the questions. Chronic cough with or without blood - nope, night sweats - nope, nausea/vomiting - nada, fever - nope.... But the fatigue & wt loss aren't the best. 

I promised to see my doc immediately if I get any other symptoms. Seriously, as if I'm gonna ignore bloody sputum & go on infecting everyone I interact with... Yea, no. But I was trying to downplay it all & she was going on about how I'm at a higher risk of converting to active tb because I'm high risk , nurse, all that jazz. I told her I know, I've read all about it... Then she dropped the bomb on me. With my high risk crap I have a 20% chance on converting within the first few months of treatment... SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! Say what? 

She only said "high risk" before, not the actual #... Here I was thinking less than 5%... Wrong! I told her I am so screwed! I am the 5% that get the p.n., of course I'll be part of the 20%. Have you not listened to my sob story? So, seeing as how my child was with me I didn't freak out. Then. 

And then she did the blood draw, here is where Maddie comes back in. She puts the tourniquet on & Maddie hops up to get a better view. Madison asked if she was going to give me a shot, and she explained that she was going to draw blood. So what does my kid do? Puts her hand on the nurses shoulder & gets up next to her for a better view. Lol

The nurse asked if she was ok watching & I laughed & said of course! So she watched the whole time leaning on the nurse. The nurse said that she was a brave girl & was a future nurse or doctor. 

Lmao, yea, that or a sadistic torturer (is that a word)! 

So there is my day... Pretty much. There was more, but that's pretty much all I've been thinking of. But you know what? No worries, it will all be ok. :) How could it not be? I have a healthy & happy family, a great job, the best friends ever & the best dog ever. Oh yes, and a pool & a new car!! Life is pretty darn good. I should drink to life... In 240 days. :) 

Day 29 - and the meds keep piling up!

Day 29. Dr appt.. Ugh

So my fear was right, I have peripheral neuropathy caused by the INH. I've been trying to keep quiet & not do the freak out thing, so I haven't really told anyone about my symptoms. But my hands start to fall asleep whenever I hold them in front of me, like reading a book in bed, lounging on the couch playing candy crush, you know, that kinda thing. 

I've also had issues after standing for a while, my feet start to get the pins & needles feeling & then fall asleep & hurt like all get out! Damn the whole nurse thing & the fact that I have to stand a lot... On busy days, anyway! ;) it happens more like when I'm starting an IV or doing a blood draw for a while. Or waiting for a baby in a section. Once they come back they feel a little numb, like I have gloves on my feet. 

But it hasn't been too bad & I've been worried that I was putting too much thought into it & being that crazy nurse-everythingisalwayswrongwithme And I'm a little bit on the nutty side. Shocking 😱 I know!! 

So the doc told me to double my B6 & B12 complex & start magnesium at double the regular dose. And he gave me Rx strength folate. I have a gazillion daily pills now!! 

Yes, those are every single day! There are also a couple PRN ones that aren't here. Can you say hot mess? Lol!

I am laughing so I don't cry. I guess I still have that black cloud like I broke a mirror while walking under the ladder with the black kitty and spilling salt thing. 

Damn the luck! I swear if I end up having liver issues I am buying a lottery ticket cuz I have the best odds ever! Of course I should probably make sure to stay inside during all the storms lately. I'm pretty sure the lightening would find me outside...just a matter of time.

So aside from the pity party it was a good day. Had lunch with my BFF & a half. At Chuys! Can you say yummm! Went grocery shopping & spent less than $75, hooray! Got my quick fix liquid crack, aka Dr Pepper. Ah, one day I should write an Ode to Dr Pepper! It is totally underrated! 

And Maddie has her first loose tooth! OMG! I don't have a baby anymore! I started to worry that it's too early, Mrs Shanaynay talked me down & reminded me that she IS almost five! Wow, the time goes by so fast. I know that is so cliche, but it's so true. 

Ok, I'd better get some rest before my appt with Nurse Grandma/EvilStepmother! It is at 8 am in MF! Why do I do this to myself? Because I'm crazy, I guess we have already clarified that. I hope she doesn't want to change anything with my meds. Yikes! 

Anyways, goodnight! If you are lucky enough to have one near, hug a nurse! They deserve it! (Unless they are in dirty c-diff/mrsa/gi-bleed-smelling gross scrubs, in that case make them shower & change first!)

Day 28 - just another day

Day 28... I saw this today on fb & just had to share it! 

Anyways, today was just another day, fun times at work. I am starting to get anxious about my appt with Nurse Grandma/evil stepmother. There are a couple of things I've been experiencing that I've put off, cuz I don't know if they are real or if I'm just crazy. I know, I know... It's pretty damn possible that it's just my crazy creeping out.

 Okay, it's 99% possible. It's just the NICU-nurse-freak-everything-that-could-possibly-go-wrong-will-go-wrong personality taking over my brain. Well come on y'all, you know she's bound to break out when I haven't been able to feed her the last 28 days! I have tried so hard to ignore the little voices in my head (shut up Shan) lately!!! 

No matter, I have an appt with my poor FP doc tomorrow. I say poor doc because he has to see me like once a month & I send a bunch of crazy ass friends to see him too! He probably pops a Xanax when he spots my name on his schedule. Lol. Or a couple of my friends... He probably has nightmares of having to see us all on the same day. ;)

Regardless, it's been another rainy day here at the 4J. Lots & lots of rain (yay!), poor Frack looked like a drowned puppy today when I got home. I guess he didn't have as much sense as the cows to stay out of the rain. Or he missed me & wanted to greet me. Yea, I'll go with that. 

There was also a minor mishap where my child decided to turn on the water in her bathroom sink & then leave & go play. Normally the overflow hole-thingy would have prevented an overflow...but....I had put a dress in there to soak yesterday. From her mishap yesterday with the sunscreen & said dress. I won't even go there, but is there a recurrent theme here? Poor child, it's in her genes. 

So there was a water mess in her bathroom. Oh my, I couldn't make this up if I tried! 

Yesterday we even had a fun discussion about how babies come out of mommies tummies. Oh Lordy! To make it short & sweet I told her they push them out of their "girl parts". I know, don't judge me! 

Then she asked if I pushed her out & I started talking about how they had to open up my tummy in surgery to get her out. 

Yes, I know I just scarred my child for life. She said she never wants to have a baby cut out of her... Well I don't want that for her either.... Or babies in general for a long long long long time!

On another note, I discovered that if you so much as miss one dose of INH out of 7 it pretty much equates to only have taken one dose that week. WTH? Somehow that doesn't add up, but really, how much of this tb mess really does? 

That's all I can bear to put down out of my brain tonight. Have a good one! 

Nighty night! ;)

Day 27 - eh

I've had a major headache all friggin day. 

:( I've done my Motrin then aleve, then Motrin again. I'm all out of options. Boo

And it's been raining cats & dogs here today. Which is great, we def need the rain! So I've had an excuse to stay in pj's all day long. Well the sun did come out around 4:30 & it started to look nice out. Eh, if I change now I'll just change again in a couple of hours...too much work! :)

So pj's all day it is! :) 

That's about all I have the energy I have tonight due to this headache. I'll have to write about the tb stories tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be my quirky self tomorrow. 

Goodnight. Sleep tight. :)

Day 26 - All hail the New York Giants!

We just finished watching two of the Madigascar movies. :) I love all of the little  jokes hidden in there. They make me lol more than adult comedies. That seems odd, but it probably says more about me than the movies! I like to move it move it! 

My sweet friend brought her fam over to play in the pool today. Of course the kiddos were the only ones crazy enough to get in & play in the 77 degree water! Oh wait, the hubs got in & swam with them too. Weirdo...but the kids love him! I think I'll keep him around. So a day with good friends, good food & cold water. What else could you ask for? Except maybe a beer, I would settle for wine. Damnit! I like to move it move it... But I never do without the liquid courage. So there will be no moving it for the next 244 days. Darn the luck!

Anyways, we let the kiddos attempt to feed the donkey, and one of the cows ate from them. They loved it, which I love to watch! It would be nice if the donkey (Frack) would get settled in enough to eat from my hand... He is still pretty skiddish. It doesn't help when Ooughna (heifer) chases him when she gets jealous. But he is so freaking cute! 

Am I right or what? Adorable! Except for the poop in the pic, but hey, life is full of poop! 

Thanks for coming out Becca Becca Bo Becca! (For the life of me I don't know why every time in think of her name that song pops in my head!)

Alright peeps, this is the week! First follow up appt with dept of health nurse Grandma/evil stepmother. (If you don't get that then you haven't listened to me enough!) she will draw some labs & tell me how my liver is kicking these days. And of course I must not forget to bring my pill bottle with me for proof (wtf)! Never mind that the stupid thing will be empty because it will be thirty days exactly from when she gave it to me! I wonder what will happen if I forget it...hmmm 

No, I will be a good girl & bring the empty pill bottle with me. It's no worse than me carrying around empty pill bottles for two weeks after my health intake with Seton, waiting for the drug testers to call me back & ask why I am on amphetamine & benzos. Because I am a nutcase, that's why!! I still don't understand why it took them so long to notice/call me about the amphetamines...and it sounded like some ghetto high school dropout & she acted like it too. When I asked if she needed to discuss the benzos she had no idea what I was talking about. That's a great drug testing company we got there! There is no way anything could go wrong with these kind of teenagers being in control of my life & able to approve if I can work or not!! Too bad they don't know what HIPPA is... Even when I pointed it out to her. And too bad they don't know the law regarding triplicate prescriptions either! Oh well, we can't put too high of standards on employees now can we? They should all make $15/hr even if they can't read/write/speak correctly/add two plus two and get the right answer...

Here is a hint... 

It's 4! Lol. 

I guess all I can say is... Just smile & wave boys, smile & wave! 

Day 25 - OCD at it's finest, lol!

While cleaning the house today Maddie voiced that she wanted to help clean, and of course I am all about that. I want my child to have accountability & not be afraid of a little hard work. We are always encouraging her to help out. Last weekend it was cleanup day at the Lakehouse. She had her own little jobs & did them. So when she offered today (and by offered I really mean demanded) I decided that yes, she needs to start having chores. So I needed to put the spot carpet cleaner on a spot in the bedroom. She helped me carry it in & she plugged it in, I showed her which button to push & where to put the cleaner. And she did. And right after she started it & left the room mommy moved it because it wasn't really centered on the spot. I didn't think much of it, just thought it was a child oversight. 

So then I start vacuuming & she wants to help. So I do the halls & bedrooms & tell her she gets to do the living room. I give her the vacuum after doing a line & telling her to keep doing it like that. And then she turns the line into a quarter turn. So mommy corrects her & tries to get her to start over. Again. And again. And again! 

Why can't my kid vacuum in a straight freaking line? 

I guess the better question is, why the hell do I care? So I try to back away & just let her do it & figure I'll go behind her later when she's swimming with daddy. I start thinking that she's just a kid & doesn't really "get it" about covering every flippin little centimeter of carpet. Did I get it when I was 4? 

So I let her do her thing & then interrupt her & tell her she did a great job...wanna go swimming with daddy? 

And you get the picture, I did it again. Lmao. So wtf is wrong with me? I am a control freak & can't let go of the stupid vacuuming!!! Oh Lordy I am such a mess, lol! 

I had been thinking I need to give her work to do & let her own it. So I gotta figure out which chore I can let go of & let her do. Oh my. We will get back to that sometime in the future. :) 

And some good news, I made level 500 my bitch! Take that! :P

I started to read some tb stories & then John decided I needed to help outside with moving some rocks. Damnit! I had to  put my little lifeline down & do something! 

So, I'll get back to that too.

And the clock keeps ticking...245 days to go!

Day 24 - Damn you candy crush!

Level 500 sucks! Like seriously sucks!! I've probably tried to get past it 100+ times! Grrrrrrrr

If I could only just quit that stupid game... It is ridiculous, I know. I know. I know! 

Ok, now that I got that out, lol! Day 24...and a long weekend ahead of me, yay! Life is good! I have great friends & family who are so selfless & go out of their way to have a drink or two to help me, I'm sure it was work for some of y'all.   

;) I got a kick out of seeing the responses, thanks guys! 

I plan on reading up on some of those diary entries of tb patients that I had found before. If I could only remember where I found them....I have to go searching again, I guess that's what I'll be doing tomorrow. 

That's all I've got now...it's past my bedtime. I just need to try to beat this level one more time!

Day 23 - Bacon-wrapped pork filets, swimming & Tom Hanks

My sweet princess let me sleep in til 730 this morning! Yay! She was one tired girl after being up so late. :) today was a Zaycon foods pickup day, if you've not heard of them you should check them out! Fantastic meat in bulk fresh from the farm. I think I'm obsessed with them, lol. 

This is an old pic from the last pick-up day, which was ground beef. Yumm! I love the feeling of having a full freezer! I added 30 bacon wrapped pork filets today! And it was yummy! :) I don't know the reasoning behind it, but I feel so content when I have a fully stocked pantry, fridge & freezer. Totally craycray, I know, but it makes me happy. Most women have clothes or shoes or bags fetishes, not me. :) 

And then Maddie had a ball swimming & I got a couple cool shots of her jumping. 

My silly girl. Of course I can't post pics of her second swim this afternoon, as she was nude, of course. Who needs clothes anyway? 

Then I watched Captain Phillips for the first time (I know I am completely behind the times) and oh my Tom Hanks! He is such an amazing actor...who would've thought that movie would make me cry? The last four or five minutes of it were so emotional & he totally makes you feel it. Wow! Totally recommend it. 

And med wise I am the same. I know I have a follow up appt next week with the dept of hell, I just don't remember what day! I am anxious to see how my liver is holding up. I think it may have curled up & died, sobbing & feeling neglected. 

And one last thought of the night....if anyone couldn't tell I am totally flying by the seat of my pants with this whole blog thing. I had no friggin idea that people could comment on my posts! I see the comments when I share them on fb, but total blonde moment here, I never thought to come back & look at my posts to see if anyone commented on them! I know, I'm a dork. I'm totally not ignoring all of the comments, thanks guys! I appreciate seeing them all & now I see I may need to send a few messages & answer some questions. I wonder why I don't get some sort of notification... I'll have to put on my detective hat & check that out later. 

Well, that's all that's rolling around in my head tonight. Could I live vicariously through someone please? I have really wanted a beer or whiskey the last couple of days & since I can't have that I've been substituting mini chips ahoy packages. Which is ridiculous cuz I'm not hungry at all, and I eat like two (okay sometimes three) packs at a time!!

So anyways, one of you guys out there (with the exception of any recovered alcoholics....y'all can stop reading now) 

needs to have a drink in my honor. Oh what the hell, my one drink is usually a normal persons three, so have three for me! ;) 

Until tomorrow, 247 days to go! 

Day 22 - Oh my princesses!

Day 22 was good. Maddie let me sleep in til 6:50 am...thanks child! Lol, but after I took her to swim lessons I came back home & napped for a couple hours. Then it was off to Disney on Ice. 

It was pretty cool. They are awesome performers & pretty much condensed 4 movies in one show, plus a few extras. It was my first visit to CP Center & everything I've heard has been right, there really is no bad seat. Maddie loved the show! We gave in & paid twice as much as we should have for a stuffed Belle, but she didn't have one  & she was dressed as Belle, lol. 

Is she not the cutest freaking Belle ever? I didn't see any other girls dressed like Belle. There were lots of Cinderellas, Snow Whites, Ariel's & Rapunzels. Guess my girl is the only Yellow lover, lol. Which totally suits her! Her face lit up when Belle came back on wearing her yellow dress...it was adorable! She was waving at her & holding up her stuffed Belle. 

I am not sure if I will ever get the Gaston song out of my head, lol! "....and every last inch of me is covered in hair!"  

My only complaint was with Brave. It was super cute & the girl acting as Merida was awesome... But damnit I wanted to see skating bears!!! They totally skipped the bear part. :(  How could they, the bear triplets were the cutest part of the movie! They did have the cute human triplets though.  Not a great pic but it's what I got of brave... 

Tired again today, but that is probably because of my long ass day yesterday. I haven't been too interested in eating lately either. Not that I am complaining about that! :) keep that side effect coming! 

Oh yes, ran into an old sweet friend from my younger years, that was very nice! Wish I had more time to chat with her, but it was souvenir shopping time & Maddie was on a mission! 

Well this girl is tired. Good night friends! If my dreams tonight are not full of musicals I will be suprised. :)

Day 21... 16 hr work days!

Sheesh! I love my job! So much that I volunteer to help cover our unit when we are short to the point that I become a zombie. Day 21 turned into a super long day...a super long day that started out without my normal Starbucks (the line was way too long, sigh) so it was really a super duper long day! 

And I had the whole fatigue thing again... To the point where I almost fell asleep eating lunch, sitting in a chair, lol! I ended up taking a "booster" adderall , which is good considering I didn't leave work til 1125. PM! That is a long day... 

The nice thing was getting an escort to my car by our security guards, two of them! With super awkward conversations! Exactly what I wanted after such a long day.

And then here is the icing on the cake... I forgot to put my house keys in my purse (like a week ago, the last time I used them, because we always use the garage clicker instead) so my husband locked me out. I tried to go in through the garage but of course he locked that door too, so I had to call & wake him up at 1220! Fun times! I sure am a mess, aren't I? Lol

All in all the day was ok, just a few bumps here & there. :) but really, life would be boring without a few bumps. 

I am blessed to have a great job with great coworkers, amazing friends & one heck of an awesome family! :) 

And my liver still works... I think. We will see next week. 

That's all I have for now, technically day 22 has just started, so I had better start snoozing! Good night!

Day 20....pet peeves

20 days into INH therapy. I'm gonna get on my soap box for a few minutes & vent about a pet peeve of mine. You may want to tune out if you want chipper Nini, it's not happening today. 

#1-Rules are made for a reason. Period. I am so sick of arrogant people who think that rules apply to everyone except themselves.   This is what is wrong with our society. Too many people are too selfish & only think about themselves. They think that rules are made for others to follow, and just because they don't want to follow them they don't have to. Too much "me me me" attitude and not enough compassion for others. Too much thinking that they are more important than everyone else. Too much entitlement. 

While I was growing up there were rules for everything. And by God there were consequences if you didn't follow them. If you didn't mind your parents you had consequences... Grounding, spanking, getting prized possessions taken away until you proved you were responsible enough to have them back. If you cheated, bullied, disrespected your teachers you went to the principal & either got a tongue lashing or paddled. You didn't get applauding from classmates for it, you were called out on crappy behaviors. You were held accountable. You were embarrassed to have your peers see you being a little shithead. 

And yes, it sucked. It was embarrassing, but you had to suck it up & face everyone head on. And you know what? It taught people lessons... Don't be a shithead!!! We learned, we survived. And some of us are responsible adults (except when we're not, lol). 

Tough lessons? Yes, there were plenty of those. I may not be the best person in the world, but I have compassion for others & I am accountable for my own actions. Mistakes? Hell yes, I've made plenty. But I also have been taught how to make them right. Because my parents & teachers & coaches made me be accountable. 

Believe it or not, I was not always the sweet angel that I am today. :) I screwed up, then I faced the music & learned to not make that mistake again. I had a few squabbles in my day, and I can remember one such altercation where I was an asshole & picked a fight for days with someone, & guess what? When the fight happened, I was sucker punched multiple times while I was still seatbelted into my old 1978 Ford Fairmont (aka the partymobile) because the freaking seat belt always stuck & I couldn't get it unlatched in time to protect my face! For a while, like half a dozen sucker punches to the face of a defenseless person while... Totally not cool or fighting fair, but you know what? Karma is a bitch! 

I deserved it, well maybe I deserved a fair fight or a couple of hits to the face...not am ambush but hey, it is what it is. I was a bleeding bloody mess when my mom had to get me at the police station. 

Humiliated doesn't begin to describe it. 

But my mom loved me & took care of me, but she still dosed out her tough love... I begged her to let me stay home & not go to school the next day, but nope. If I was adult enough to get in a mess like that I had to face the music. It wasn't going to get any better by hiding at home for a few days. Getting back up & showing my ugly battered face to the entire high school was mortifying in the moment, but it built character. Going to work as a carhop sucked! I survived, and my friends were still there. I deserved part of my bruises & that's what I got.

Moral to that story? Don't be too big for your britches & fix your freaking seat belt buckle it it sticks! Lol! 

Back to the beginning, it starts with us parenting our children. Does it suck to discipline your children? Yes! Is it hard to take away what they want to teach them lessons? Yes it is! But we do them no good by just letting it all slide & letting them turn into entitled little jerks! Our job is to help them become decent, caring & compassionate people. 

And it all goes to hell when the adults around can't even follow rules! Why does one person think they are better than everyone else? How arrogant is that?

Our society needs to step up & start to behave like responsible adults. Period. End of story. 

And, to all of my non-nursing/non-physician friends... Why do you think we do what we do? Why do we have rules? To keep everyone safe. To provide care for others. Bottom line is we are here to serve & help people. We enjoy taking care of people & helping them heal. We do not enjoy telling people no, or not giving them what they want... But we do give them what they need. We like helping & helping making every life better. It's who we are & what we do. 

So the next time you run into say a NICU nurse listing out several rules, know that we don't do it to take away from you, but to help you & your babies. Because we care. We put our hearts into everything we do. And you know what? All of these rules have a reason behind them... And sometimes you don't want to know what devastating thing has happened to people to make us have these rules. 

Oh Lordy... After days like today I would love a nice whiskey & soda to ease away my stress. I'll just have to make do with my water & tiny little bag of mini chips ahoy! :) 

Sorry for the bummer post, I'll try to be more chipper tomorrow. 

Good night moon! 

Day 19 has been a nice relaxed Sunday

Happy Day 19! :) 251 to go! They are just ticking away...

If anyone was worried about the poor soon to be slaughtered caterpillars, don't fret. Their execution was fast, like super fast! When I opened up the coop & opened the jar all it took was one little movement from one caterpillar and my girls were all about it. They were at my feet like little begging puppies, just looking up while I dumped out their treat. I don't think a single one hit the ground! Then once they realized the treat was over the went back to their pecking, not a single thank you squawk.

Oh well, that was pretty much the most exciting thing today. Maddie went swimming til her teeth were chattering & then helped me fertilize the corn garden. After a snack she swam again til she was chattering again... And we fertilized the backyard garden & plants. Add in two more solo swims & one with daddy. She has been an active girl, while mommy has been busy crushing candies. 

No med issues/complaints today. All is well. About to hit the hay & get ready for another day. Let's see if tomorrow generates any news worthy fun! Good night!

Day 18 - Slave labor & a mass execution

Day 18 was a day filled with work, not just work work, like physical labor work. My Grannie is a crazy slave driver! ;) she & mom made a list & we all worked today....like used our muscles worked! 

Just kidding around, we all did our part to clean up the outside of the Lakehouse, lots of stuff that needed to be done. Have to have the place looking spic-n-span for Maddie's bday party next month! Several members of the family showed up to help, now that's what family is about! :)

On to the execution part.... While weeding the garden, I found some critters thinking they would get a free meal. Sorry buckaroo! These little guys were all pigging out on my lettuce. I found one, then another & another & then it became a ridiculous I have to pick thru every single leaf & search out these suckers OCD mission! 

Of course Maddie had to get involved, and of course, she is naked as a jay bird! Well, she did have her crocs on, and she really enjoyed our game of find the caterpillar. It lasted about 30 minutes & then we had 15 crawlers & daddy said enough! We put them in a jar... (Shannon's daughter would have been all about this too, I was thinking that she would totally enjoy it!) 

Dum dum da dum dum...They will be sacrificed to the chickens tomorrow. Oh no you say? Nah, it's the circle of life peeps! And they are like gourmet treats for our girls! Maybe it will help them kick up their production & start laying a more reasonable amount of eggs! (They have seriously been slacking lately) And several of y'all have enjoyed the yummy wholesome eggs they provide. 

So we will have another fun family moment tomorrow, watching this mass execution of these 15 free-loaders. Maddie will have to be clothed for this part though, we couldn't have her walking across the property naked. That would be weird. 

I had thought about maybe letting the hens free-range in our backyard & take out the middle man, but I know how those girls love lettuce, I bet they wouldn't be so kind to differentiate between the insects & the lettuce. Or tomatoes, or bell peppers, or strawberries. Lord only knows what they would think of the pool, lol! So I'm thinking that is probably not my brightest idea yet. Nix that. 

Day 18 was free of med issues. :) 

252 days until I can have a beer. Or Cosmo. Or Mexican martini. Or mojito. Or  crown & dp. Or piña colada. Okay, that's enough torture. Good night peeps! 

Day 17 - A day in the life of a NICU nurse

If I asked you to describe a good NICU nurse, what would you say? Someone strong? Someone smart? Someone with great IV skills? A compassionate person? 

Let me let you in on a secret... It's not any of those...

 I can tell you as a new nurse at Brack, when shift change would come around I would get so worried & tense & wondering if I did everything right. What would the oncoming nurse think of me? Am I doing a good job?  Did I screw up this baby & ruin his entire life by lifting his legs too high when I changed his diaper? (Seriously...it happens) So what does that oncoming nurse look at first to judge you?  Your friggin baby's bed!! Is it color coordinated? Is it neat & tidy? Is it tucked right? Are all the lines/wires lined up the right way so that a dozen wires doesn't look messy at all? Is your baby positioned developmentally appropriate? (Ok that's totally mine, but we can get into that later, lol)

For reals people! A veteran NICU nurse will look at your baby's bed for 10 seconds & judge you for the rest of your career based on it!!! You sure as hell better have a nice, clean, tidy (don't forget cute!) bed! Spit up on the sheet?  Oh hell no! Blood from a heelstick 10 hrs ago that keeps fricking bleeding every time the kiddo kicks? Umm, no ma'am. That shit better be clean & in order! 

If you think I'm kidding, just wait! You'll see! We are all crazy OCD & type A personality & my way is the right way kind of nurses! And we will freak out over a nasty, dirty bed... 

I find out I will be getting an admit in the am & what do I do? Well, I collect supplies & make sure all my safety stuff is ready, you know, suction is on & connected, as is oxygen...blah blah

Then I go & do research & find out if it's a boy or girl & what's the name, etc. Then I make my bed all nice & pretty, so that when the family comes in to see what they thought was a normal healthy baby & now isn't in a strange germaphobe environment with all kinds of wires hooked up to said baby...they see a somewhat clean (if possible people!) baby in a cute/pretty bed to take some of the shock out of the whole situation.  It helps them to still see their baby as a baby & helps lessen the blow of the unplanned unhealthy baby. 

Now all this is dependent upon time available before receiving an admit... But you better believe that when I sit down to chart everything, my baby's bed better fricking look cute! This is possible in a slower unit, not always so easy to do in a in a very busy unit.  

What does this have to do with my INH & tb & absence of alcohol? Not really a damn thing... But it's me & what I've been doing during my day 17 of INH therapy.  17 days! Yay! Before you know it I will be on day 35 & then 70 & then... Well you get the picture.  I was worried I would be a mess this far in, I guess my allergy attack has been helpful in distracting me! :) speaking of... Last night was a I-wanna-stick-a-coathanger-in-my-ears&throat-to-scratch-this-shit kind of night. Holy mother of itchiness! Thank the  lord & heavens above for Benadryl!

Today has been better, but the drainage is starting up again, yuck! I will be glad once this pollen gets out of the air. 

I am taking my vitamins & all my meds & drinking a small portion of the amount of water I should be drinking in a day. ;)

I am here & feel pretty darn good! Yay! I had great cheerleaders today...Catherine the great from L&D, and Melissa from NICU. They were great to keep my spirits up today. And Catherine has the most awesome new Eggplant jacket for work...you really have to see it CP peeps! 

So, what is the lesson of today? NICU nurses are a special kind of crazy...and never EVER call a fellow nurse a heifer!! Even in a joke, it's just not cool people.

16 days in....and my new car got it's first ding :(

Damn you stupid person in the Jeep that I parked next to today at work. I thought you had class because you were driving a Wrangler, I was wrong! My brand new car has a ding!! And I used to drive a Wrangler, I know that's exactly where it's from. And you can bet your ass I will leave them a note!!! I freaking work here!! Grrrrr :(    I am stepping off my angry soap box now, sorry I had to get it out!! 

Here is Decklan from when I got home. He still doesn't know what to think about the new car, every time I stop he sniffs it, lol! 

So, med-wise, I'm still ok. I wish I could get rid of this mucous-snot blob in the back of my throat, but I'm not willing to walk around all jacked up so I won't be taking the mucinex during the day (if you don't understand, see post from day 9 or 10, I don't remember!) I will just have to muddle through this silly allergies & hope it clears up fast! 

Today I got a letter from a patients family! It is just a thank you letter, but it means so much! I love notes/thank you/letters from families! It totally makes my day & makes me proud of what I do. If a family can leave the NICU with a few happy memories I must be doing something right! :) I love my job!!! And so saying, if there any 34 wk moms having premature labor, please come to CP, I would be so grateful! Lol,  I'm not wishing for preemies, I'm just wishing they will be born where I can take care of them, if mom is delivering early already. I hate having an empty NICU. :( 

Well I guess that's all I've got today. Oh wait! My friend Shannon is looking at getting her BSN & because of her I'm thinking about it too. I mean, my BFF Nicole did it, and I can't let her show me up! :) I really have been resisting this push for us nurses to go back to school, it's just stupid. I am pretty sure I will give the same bedside care with a BSN that I give now. But if someone else is going to do it, it would be easier for me to have a study partner & an ass-kicker to keep me going. So I am thinking about it.... Oh Lordy, I think it may be too much to take on when I can't have a beer while I study. I may have to reconsider & wait til after the 254 days are over. I'd better do some more thinking on that. Twinkle think, twinkle think!! 

I just kissed my baby girl goodnight & it's about that time for me! Maddies reply to me was "don't let the bed bugs bite!" So there ya go! 

Another day down!

Day 15 -sticky bagels

I am guilty of indulging my child every now & then, I can admit it. So, somehow, somewhere Maddie got it stuck in her head that doughnuts are just different bagels. The powdered sugar little ones are white bagels, regular sized glazed or chocolate covered ones are called sticky bagels, there are twisty bagels and circle bagels, it goes on & on. And yes, somehow we have just gone with it & we all call them bagels in this house, lol. 

Mommy loves the fresh HEB doughnuts... They are so yummy & wonderful! Yummmmmmm

Usually we get fresh "bagels" once a week or so... Okay sometimes twice a week, those are usually stressful weeks, no judging! ;) 

We talk about the bagels all afternoon & plan which ones to eat the next morning. Maddie really likes to assign bagels to people (I don't know where she gets that control freak gene) and we are supposed to eat our assigned bagels the next day. Until she decides she would like half a bagel for dessert, then she eats half of someone else's bagel...never hers, lol! 

Okay I really don't know where I was going with this whole bagel story!!! Lmao!

Except I guess I keep eyeing them & am excited to eat mine tomorrow am.  Well, I guess now you will understand why I call doughnuts bagels when I see them, lol. 

So we are 15 days in & my liver is still kicking! Yay! 255 pills to go!!! I went ahead and got my Vitamin B complex that was recommended, and you know what? It tastes like crap. And I'm supposed to keep it under my tongue for 30 seconds before I swallow it. Wtf? It's one freaking ml... I don't know how much space is under everyone else's tongues, but it's hard to keep 1ml under my tongue...maybe it's just me? Anyway, I swear my tongue already feels better... Probably a placebo effect, but I'll take it!

So we are still looking good! :) I did feel a little off today, but I'm thinking it's just allergies. I think that's all I have! Good night! Hug your babies! :)

Day 14, paint, creamy jalapeño dip & strawberries with Nutella!

14 days complete! That's two weeks folks! And if it wasn't for these crappy allergies I wouldn't have a thing to complain about! :) it's going better than I thought it would...although I will admit I was a little pessimistic about the whole thing to start with. 

My silly pills aren't too much to deal with... I do think I am having some vitamin B deficiencies that the supplement isn't covering, so I'm going to try to add a B complex vitamin to the mix. Why not? Let's see how many pills I can take I one day! Ever heard of "geographic tongue"? Well if you haven't, don't look at all the nasty pics that comes up when you google it... Nasty! Mine is not that bad, but there are some worries, & a lot of research has led me to believe it could be from lack of vitamin B, and guess what my body is using a crapload of?! :) So, on to the store tomorrow to get more vitamins!! :) hopefully it fixes it the issue.

So, where does the paint come in? We (girls at work) have been talking about doing this painting with a twist for a while & Stef found one she liked, so we did it! It was good! :) my picture is not too terrible & I got to spend quality time with two very dear friends. Throw in some chips & dip & it's a party! Stef got us all these cute wine glasses... I had to use mine, but it only held my Dr. Pepper. That's ok, one day it will be used for it's calling! :) 

And then...shut the front door..... Shannon brought strawberries & Nutella! Yummo! We pigged out! :) oh, it's the little things in life, ya know? 

So here we are with our paintings & wine glasses! Not too shabby! 

I am thankful for having so many good friends & awesome family! Everyone has been amaxingly supportive. It means a lot. 

Goodnight my friends! 256 days to go! :) We can do this!!

My car is smarter than me, lol! Day 13

Lmao! My freaking car can sense when it's raining & when the wipers should come on, slow down, go faster... All of it! Who would have thought? Well maybe y'all out there are more savvy than me & knew all about what cars can do these days, but I had no friggin idea! :) Needless to say, I am impressed. I wonder what else it can do, hmmmm. 

So day 13 is over! :) tomorrow will mark two whole weeks!! Yay! I have not keeled over and I'm pretty proud of that. I wasn't sure how this whole thing would go, but so far we're good! I wish I knew where I was exposed though... That is bugging me. Wherever/whenever it was, it's in the past & we are moving on. 

I'm pretty proud of our unit at work & how well we have done thru this transition! We totally rock! Of course, I'm not sure we would be so good if Shannon wasn't our leader...she is the sticky glue that keeps us all together, whether we like it or not! No matter what, we have been a good team & I know we are joining another good team! :) I know, you're thinking, what's up with her? She's all optimistic.... Xanax? Booze? 

Nope, just happy to have a day off tomorrow & thankful that I have my amazing family & friends! 

So goodnight & sleep tight! We are having thunderstorms, so it's perfect snuggle weather! :) 257 days to go! Yippee!

12 days in...Happy Mothers Day!

We are on day 12 of INH therapy. All is well, except for my momentary freak-out session last night, thinking that I'm going to go into liver failure, lol! I started thinking too much....again, lol. I had my sweet friend Stef at work with me today to help me chill out. :)

Happy Mothers Day to all the awesome mommies out there! Take a moment for yourself to just relax & live in the moment.......................ok, time is up! Time to be mommy again. :) my dear hubby brought my little sweetie to work today to bring mommy some chocolate covered strawberries (yummo) and my favorite of all, a Dr. Pepper from Sonic! I have a great family! :) 

Frack says Happy Mommies Day!! :) the longing you see in his eyes is when he realized that I didn't have a carrot for him, I was just stopping to say hi. Poor guy!

I have much more to say, but I do have 258 days to say it. So I will just call it a night & hit the sack, as I have to get back to the grindstone tomorrow. 

Happy Days & Sweet Dreams to everyone!

Day 11 is over

So, I know I said it earlier, but I'm pretty sure my liver is in overdrive. Too many meds...my internal heater has been going full blast for the last 24 hours, lol. 

Maddie was in her very first play today! She was an adorable brown horse.

Super cute, huh? Too bad mommy was completely spaced out today. We took lots of pics & video. I still just don't  feel right since Thursday. I think it's all not out of my system, so I'm trying to not add any extra meds to it. Except my head feels like it's going to explode, so I took some Motrin. 

Well, early Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there! I have to work tomorrow :( but I will have great company! 

See y'all tomorrow, 259 days to go!

10 days in!

We are 10 days in! Yay! I'm still feeling ok (if you don't count the allergy hell) and I haven't even thought about not being able to drink lately! I do think my liver is super-busy processing the INH on top of these other meds, at least that's what I am attributing all of this spacey-ness to. I've been feeling very weird, like I'm not back to normal yet since yesterday's incident. :)

It was Mothers Day Tea at Maddie's school & when it's time for snacks where do we get seated? At a tiny table (with tiny chairs) with three little boys & their dads (don't know where either ones mom were) of course! Because I'm already totally comfortable sitting in this tiny chair in a dress, let's add a little fun in! Maddie & I are both all "girly" and we are surrounded by boys! Ewww! ;) So much for Mothers Day Tea, lol. And both dads are sitting on the floor, right at boob level!! Seriously! With my head already in the clouds, I am thrown into a social situation that is crazy weird... So we make it through choc chip muffins & then Maddie starts crying because she doesn't want to go with daddy, she wants to go with me... Oh Lordy, the thing was, I was feeling crappy & decided not to join them in the visit to see Johns parents tonight. But she just starts crying & saying she doesn't want to go with daddy, over & over again...and these daddies were just staring at me...I was totally thinking "is this really happening?" I couldn't calm her down & I was already not 100%, to say the least, lol. Why does this stuff happen to me? Why can't I just go & sit next to another anti-social mom & let the kids play & just smile every now & then? Why?

So I feel like mom of the year wiping off my child's tears as I am walking out... awesomeness 

Yay me!! :) 

Since this blog is about tb & INH, I should probably put down some tb facts. I did say I wanted to help spread the word & not the disease! So, have I already told you that Texas is #4 in states with the worst rates of tb per 100,000 people? That's not a great thing folks. 

No bueno. Oh, saying that brings up the obvious, the tb rates are higher for people born in another country. We do have a large # of immigrants...hmm, let's chew on that thought. California is #3 & they have a large number of foreign born people too. Double hmmm 

What if we target this population & educate them about tb? How about flyers along that border? I wish we could spray the area with a tb cure! And birth control, but let's start with trying to eradicate fatal diseases first! Sorry, this probably just stirred the pot, but it is something to think about. 

After I am finished with my INH & can enjoy my beloved Mexican martini again, I should probably look at seriously trying to spread the word (not the disease) ;)

I say after I can drink again because come on, I'm not gonna think about much more than myself (or family) this whole time, lol.  Who would? 

So, 260 days left....we are getting there!

Day 9, lessons learned

Day 9 started out normal as can be until silly me did a silly thing. I always check the meds I am on for interactions when I first start them...at least I thought I did. Yeah, so the lesson today is the dextromethorpan in mucinex dm and adderall should not be mixed!! Ever!! Oh my flying monkeys!!! I can not believe people actually want to feel like that! Wowza! I don't think "high" describes it! 

That's all I really have today...sorry folks. I haven't been able to think about much today, therefore I didn't feel sorry for myself at any point today for the tb & INH.  The allergies are still killing me, I am hoping that the rain will knock that pollen down. And I still have the gross products of the mucinex, lol! Yuck! Other than that life is great! :) 

261 days and counting......

Day 8 - It's a pollen cursing kind of day

So I still feel like crap... Shocking! I know!

Stupid tree pollen...seriously! I have taken more pills today... All my normal ones plus my INH & Vit B6 & Motrin & aleve & Benadryl & mucinex. And my sweet husband went to the store & brought some probiotics home for me since I keep forgetting, lol. But let's talk about mucinex...for non-medical friends/family this may be TMI. Just warning you...

 Mucous. Snot. Gross. Mucinex is a wonderful medication & does amazing things, but really, why does the taste of snot never leave my mouth after I expectorate it!! It is so gross! And how in the heck does it make these huge snot balls? It really is gross. This is why I take care of babies, big people problems are disgusting!! Yuck! 

Ok, enough of the grossness. I couldn't say anything about the tb meds today because I have felt so crummy because of my allergies & I swear it feels like my throat has been sliced in half! So I have alternated ibuprofen and naproxen. Special thanks to my awesome hubby who brought me some aleve today too! Only being able to take ibuprofen really bites. 

I wanted to comment on tb & it's prevalence. Yes, the numbers are going down but it is still here & thriving. This bug is like crazy old...it's just ridiculous! Before I joined the healthcare world I don't think I had really ever thought about tb.  I would say it would be awesome to develop a vaccine that could eradicate this stupid bug...but you know there would be some crazy crunchy home-birth loving, I won't vaccinate my kids to help keep the world healthy, ridiculous Dr. Google groupie mom who would not want it & would have to refuse it on principle alone. I mean seriously...look at measles & how far we came until this anti-vax movement started. Now it's back, and children too young to be vaccinated or unable to take the vaccine are at risk. But their kid is probably safe by herd immunity. Ridiculous! (Huge pet peeve if mine, in case you couldn't tell)

I am educating everyone I know about tb now. Poor Dr. H got stuck in the hall with me the other day cuz he asked about it, lol! I still am trying to figure out when & where I was exposed, it makes no sense. I am at a higher risk because I'm a rock-star nurse, but the fact that we kick out anyone in the NICU who coughs kinda outweighs that. And I really don't like crowds...shocker! But it really doesn't matter, I have been exposed & I will not be a public health risk! 

I think that's all that was left in my head today...I've coughed or blown everything else out of my nose, lol. ;)

Good night friends!

Day 7-Happy Nurses Day!

OMG! I just spent twenty minutes writing this awesome witty blog & bam it's gone!! WTH? 

Well first off, Happy Nurses Day! Nurses rock, so you should love-a-nurse today! And by love, I mean to buy them a yummy new June flavor of the month bundt cake. ;) or Chips & creamy jalapeño. Either one works :)

I had a great visit from my BFF and her little Care Bear today at work. They know the way to my heart...Dr Pepper, chocolate & hot tamales. Awesomeness! It is too bad that I couldn't really enjoy them because of this darn sore throat! But that's beside the point...I have an awesome BFF and I'm completely blessed to have her in my life!

So, I have a super sore throat, lots of drainage, itchy eyes/mouth/throat/ears & if I could get a ETT stylet into my ear/down my throat without screwing up everything, to scratch I would for sure! Man does it itch & I wanna scratch & scratch & scratch! Add that to my fatigue & nausea & I'm not feeling so fine. :( 

Actually, I really do feel like crap. Normally when my allergies try to invade my body I could get a steroid shot from my FP doc to help me through it. But alas, no, I can not get it because of the INH. Boo. 

So, bring on the Benadry, ibuprofen & mucinex! I need and want to sleep. A lot. Can someone please make that happen? 

I did manage down a yummy peice of chocolate & decided to save the rest for a sore-throat-free day. I hope that is soon, cuz this sucks!  If you happen to hear of a crazy ER admit with a foreign object in an ear just ignore it & whatever you do, do not take pictures. It was probably sheer desperation that drove her to that predicament. Thank you. 

I am terrified that people are hearing me cough & thinking that my tb has become active. And that I am willy-nilly spreading it to everyone. Yes, I am the TB fairy & I love sprinkling my lovely consumption/white plague/tb fairy dust around. Yes, that's what I do. Fun times. 

So, I think I am all blogged out, I am so mad about the first draft, it was pretty darn awesome...like win an award kind of awesome! ;) somehow it is lost out there in never-never land. Maybe it will pop up one day. 

Just wanted to inform everyone in case they did not know, Mr. Manning himself was on the late show last night & of course he was hilarious. And handsome. You should watch it, he is pretty cool. :) also if you have never seen the short movie called "The Book of Manning" you definitely should look it up on you-tube & watch it. Why, you ask? Because it has Peyton Freaking Manning in it, that's why! Is there anything else to be said? I thought not. 

Have a great night & enjoyable day tomorrow! :)

264 little white pills on the wall...

Well, made it through day 6. One more check mark for me! :) 

Unfortunately my allergies are killing me. I've got some drainage & a terrible sore throat... And a cough every now & then. But I am 99.99% sure it's allergies, damn trees! 

Add that to my fatigue & headache & the nausea is starting up. Not sure if it's due to the meds or allergy drainage. I'm pretty sure I may lose my voice by tomorrow, but please don't run away & hide if you see me!

So we will mark today as a crummy day, I'm hoping tomorrow is better. 

Here is the fun fact for the day... Did you know that out of the entire United States, our lovely lone star state ranks #4 in rates of TB. Only three states are worse than us...yikes! 

I keep seeing more people who say they like reading this, so I'm gonna try to keep it up. :) it's actually pretty nice to be able to just get the words out of my head. It leaves more room for the crazy! :) 

Don't forget, Nurses Week starts tomorrow, so hug a nurse! :) We are all superstars!! 

Tuberculosis Sanatorium? Oh heck no!

So, day 5 is winding down.... 

The other day I was talking with some of my gal pals & told them that the Dept of Health Nurse told me that Texas is one of the only states left that quarantines active tb patients. On some level I thought maybe she was just messing with me. I know...funny, right?  My friend Donnalee asked where they would put me & I said I'm not really sure. So curiosity killed the cat today. 

Not only do they, but I found a flyer for the friendly institution... The TCID, in San Antonio! Of course it's not like the old sanatoriums, The wonderful Joint Commission wouldn't put up with something like that, lol... Of course they need to be accredited too. :)

But holy crap, the thought of being taken away from my family for a stay of "minimum 3 months and up to 2+ years".

Although upon further research it appears the average stay for a quarantined tb patient is 182 days at the "all inclusive rate of $965/day" !!! I wonder if the state is paying for that too?! Hmm

Holy Mother of All that is good in this world, please never ever let me progress to active tb! Wowza! So, of course I had to see more & dug until I found publishing of diaries of patients at these tb sanatoriums (from 1920-1960) and all I can say is WTF?? The rules were incredibly strict (which, speaking as a nurse is not necessarily a bad thing) and they went through phases, like no movement, only potty basins in beds & eating flat, to advancing to toilet passes once a day to being able to sit for a few hours a day. It goes on & on & on. The rules also stated that they were not to dwell on their illness & most definitely not have self pity. Also to never expect visits from family members, but be overjoyed if they actually did come. Basically bend over & take it, but let's gag you first! 

So I am deathly afraid of ever developing active tb now, even though rationally I know that basically they just put you in a respiratory hospital & tell you what to do. It is still a little bit scary! I want my BFF to come over & hold me & sing "Soft Kitty" to soothe me, but she has a family too & doesn't live close enough! Damn you Nicole! :P

I do have to say that reading the journal entries was totally cool...did you know they used to collapse their lung routinely? 

My nurse friends would probably have a ball, but it's pretty sad to read about a woman missing a good portion of her little boys first years & him not recognizing her when she finally came home. :(

But let's move on to talking about me! Same ole tiredness.... I think I laid in bed until 11 when I had to get up & take the teenagers home. More GI fun & a terrible headache, but overall not nearly as bad as it could be.  So the countdown continues... 265 days left...

But seriously guys, you should search these stories if you have time, it's pretty cool (& sad) but still worth reading!

Thanks to everyone for the encouraging words! :)

4 days down!! :)

 Day four is coming to a close. I have survived four whole days of INH therapy! Woo Hoo! 

Good day at work and a nice drive home.   I love the quiet & beautiful drive through the country. It is very soothing. My only complaints today are fatigue & some GI symptoms. Yuck, but not too terrible. I keep forgetting to pick up the darn probiotics!!  I don't have much of an appetite either, but I'm not complaining about that, lol! That's probably one of the only good side effects. :)

I'm going to surrender to this fatigue & hit the sack early... Yeah right, I'm gonna play candy crush til I fall asleep because Maddie is busy with her cousin & John isn't home. Good night all!

 

Day 3 and I'm finally out of Candy Crush Hell!

In case any of y'all didn't know, I am a candy crush addict. I know how bad it is, and I know it's not right to blame people...but it is completely my friend Shannon's fault!! She damn near made me download the app & play. So I had been on level 461 for what has seemed like forever (but was probably only two weeks or so)!  And I finally beat it this morning! Yay me!!

267 days to go, I can't complain too much.. Regardless of what some people thought, I'm not having DT's after 3 days of no alcohol! ;) But I am still feeling super tired.

 I hate the internet sometimes, of course I always tell my families to never search the internet, and what did I do this morning? I searched the internet....trying to see if I'm crazy or if these side effects really happen. So, I'm probably gonna die now, cuz according to the internet I must be in liver failure with this serious fatigue!!! Just kidding, but seriously I hate that you can go to 10 different sites & they all say different things. So, I'm going to do something shocking...I am going to actually listen to my doctor and remember that he said it was ok and it should go away in a month or so. So I am just letting go of worrying about what's going to happen & roll with it! If I start to have noticeable effects I will make an appt and go ask my doctor! :)

Okay, so anyone who knows me well will know that as much as I try not to, I am totally going to have a hard time not obsessing over all the "what if"s! So if and when I start to let the crazy nurse out & freak out, just tell me to call my dr & chill. And then run away. Fast! 

I have two teenage girls in the house tonight along with Maddie and it is entirely too quiet, I'd better go check on things. Have a good night! Thanks for being here for me! :)

...and day two is over! :)

I had a fantastic day at work & a great evening with some of my dearest friends! 

Side effect wise, not really much to write about, it didn't really phase me but I was busy working so that may have helped. Or my anticipation of the creamy jalapeño dip I was looking forward to all day...

I love Chuys! And it was also great without my serving of tequila...who knew?! Lol, just kidding! Regardless of the title, I'm not a crazy drinker. I have gone days & months without drinking before! Really!! I did carry my child for 36 weeks without drinking or eating rare steaks, or deli meat...I can go without. :)

From what I have read I probably shouldn't be eating too much cheese, avocados, tuna fish, bananas (the list goes on), or it could make the GI side effects worse. I guess I'll have to see how that goes, as I just over-indulged in a plate of cheese, beans, cheese & more queso on top!  Although that does remind me that I still need to pick up some probiotics.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by such great people, everyone has been checking on me...family, friends, co-workers & even moms of my previous patients! I had no idea that so many people would care, I was feeling completely alone & now that just seems ridiculous!  Thank you all for being here for me, I love you all! 

Day two is closing down now, only 268 days to go! Let the show continue! ;)